Tuesday, January 17, 2012

On a Journey, At Once Familiar Yet New

It hit me like a ton of bricks one day, but in a good way: I knew, with a conviction I hadn't experienced in a very long time or perhaps at all, that I needed to play the piano again.  Not just to work back up to where I'd reached before I stopped practicing, but to go far, far beyond what I'd previously achieved.  I needed to prioritize music to its rightful place of prominence in my life.

Why?  There are many reasons that come with a sudden onslaught of passion, but when distilled with a cooler head I can pinpoint the following:

  • I want to be able to play the music I love, in a way that satisfies me.
  • I want to be able to share my personal joy of music with others.
  • I want to research and learn all about the composers I so admire, and even the ones I don't (yet, anyway), and write about them and their music intelligently. 
  • This feels like the most natural and right thing for me to do.
I can't really explain the last bullet point, but I'm okay with that.  Some things don't require explanation.

I'm fully aware that this is not going to be an easy path, and I haven't yet answered all my own questions: What exactly is it that I want to do if I commit myself to music and the piano?  What if I'm not good enough?  (Good enough for what?)  

The main point is, however, that this is a journey, and I'll never know what possibilities I may encounter or whether I'm good enough for whatever it is that I'm supposed to be good enough for, if I don't try.  Even if I don't end up doing a master's program or obtain some kind of official validation, what counts is that the journey, and the music, will be all mine.  It won't have been done for anyone else, or for anyone else's idea of what I should do with my life.   

In this blog I intend to chronicle the ups and downs, trials and tribulations, excitement and frustrations, what have you, of my journey with the piano, and with music.  

A choreographer once said when asked for what advice he'd give to aspiring dancers: "Commit to what you want to do, and stick with it," because there will be people who tell you you're doing the wrong thing, or that you can't do it.  

I am committing, however scary it is, because in doing so, I am now happier than I've ever been.